As I write this, I'm sitting waiting for a new tire. The reason I'm writing? I'm almost out of data for the month, which means no perusing Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or taking ridiculous selfies and sending them to my friends via Snapchat. Before I started to write this, I got out my iPhone out of my pocket, started to open Twitter, then realized I'm almost out of data, and that I'm seeing Underoath tomorrow (or yesterday if you're reading this Monday [UPDATE: Underoath was incredible]), and I'll need to use my data to post super cool pictures to have people validate how cool I am from a screen. (Because let's be honest, that's kind of what we're all doing with social media...just showing people how awesome we are or only the cool things we do. We don't show people the boring parts, and if we did we'd have no friends or followers on social media. "I'm in the check outs and it's taking FOREVER!" No one wants to read that.) Anyways, I realized I didn't want to use up my data, and I froze. I felt like a bearded Tom Hanks lost at sea screaming "WILLLLSOOONNNN!!!" (If you got that very outdated reference let's be friends.) I didn't know what to do.
What did people do before smartphones? Sit and wait patiently like some chump? Who wants that? So this is when I started writing to all of you. Then I started to think of all of the time we spend on social media when we could be doing way cooler things. Right now, I AM on my phone while writing this, but my phone is on airplane mode (yes it's almost dead at 3pm on a Saturday. Judge me.), essentially making it a music machine and writing pad. We could be writing. We could be making music. We could be learning a new skill like how to cook ratatouille (and now I want to know how, so I'll be Googling that later) or give our bicycle a tune-up. Better yet, we could be spending time with friends, having a great conversation about cool stuff happening in the world, or thinking of how to solve the world's problems!
Social media is definitely awesome, and it's a great way to kill some time while you're pooping (don't think I'm gross, we've ALL done this), but it also kills wonder, creativity, and the ability to learn or wait patiently while a tire is getting changed. Sometimes we'd rather be seeing what Bob's cat is doing than some of the cool examples I just gave—and that's a bummer. Now, I will say, I'm absolutely thankful for social media, because it allows me to have the stuff I write (like this) to be read, shared, and enjoyed.
Social media is just like coffee or alcohol. The key is moderation. You drink too much coffee, and you become incredibly dehydrated until you become lethargic and get a headache. (Caffeine hangovers exist, y'all. I've done it. Don't do it.) Alcohol is fine if you have a beer or a glass of wine, but you drink six, and suddenly you become a yelling madman that thinks he's the funniest person in the universe—even though you're obnoxious and no one wants to be around you—and the next day you feel like you're dying. (Trust me, you're not funny, everyone wants you to shut up. Not only that, but what's the payoff of being drunk? How is feeling awful for an entire day worth it? I will never understand it.) Too much social media, and suddenly you find yourself having wasted eight hours, and you're looking at pictures of Bob's cat from 12 years ago. (Sandra Wigglesworth is a really old cat.) That's eight hours you could have used doing ANYTHING other than creeping on ol' Sandra.
When I reach the end of my life, I hope to have very few or no regrets. I especially don't want to look back on my life thinking, "man. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time on social media." So look on up. There's a whole world out there.
P.S. whenever I get a cat I'm naming her Sandra Wigglesworth