If you don’t know me, then you don’t know this, but I’m a “sensy”, or a “sensitive” guy. This doesn’t mean that I cry myself to sleep every night and want to share my feelings with everyone I meet, it just means that I’m a little more in tune with my feelings than the average person. Maybe you’re a “sensy” or trying to better understand “sensy” people. Well, you’ve come to the right place. With that said, here’s 10 cons and 10 pros of the sensy people. (Note: I like to do cons first, because I like to end things on a happy note.)
CONS:
You’re Not Competitive
A lot of people really care about winning, sports, and being the best. As a kid (and even still), you cannot make me give a CRAP about playing sports. In fact, there’s a picture of me somewhere as a child playing biddy basketball, watching from afar other kids fighting over a jump-ball. Since then, not much has changed—I cannot get myself to care about competing with people, and will never be able to. I may not wish I was a little bit taller, but I do wish that I was (able to care about being) a baller.
Lots of Guys Don’t Understand You
Since guys are stereotypically known for not having emotions and not being open with their feelings, in certain social situations you feel like an enigma. When you see someone who is experiencing emotions and not being honest with them, you want to hug them and have a Good Will Hunting Moment (hug them and say “it’s not your fault” over and over again) with them.
You Have to Admit that You Once Cried as a 16-year-old Boy Listening to Dashboard Confessional
As a 16-year-old, I got over my ex-girlfriend by listening “Screaming Infidelities” on repeat while crying. Looking back, this was a terrible waste of time and I regret it. So don’t do this. Go outside and enjoy nature or other people. Sure, you’ll be sad, but listening to mopey music and crying won’t do any good.
Break-Ups Suck
When break-ups happen, you get a substantially larger amount of feeling “bummed” than the average person. It takes you longer to get over it than most people, and you’ll probably have to shed a tear at some point to move on. (On the flip side, once you’re over it feels like the greatest feeling in the world.)
When You’re Tired You Only Want to Talk About Serious Things
My best friends have seen this side of me. While I’m usually outgoing and fun, when I’m tired, I turn into this weird, introspective version of myself that wants to talk about personal convictions, deep issues, and the world’s problems. (Definitely not the guy you want at your party when I’m tired.)
When Bad Things Happen, You Feel Too Much
In November of 2013, half of my hometown was leveled by a tornado. While my parents did not lose their home, many of my friends’ families and some of my distant family was effected. I was DESTROYED emotionally. Overridden with guilt for my immediate family still having their house while others did not, having extreme empathy for those effected, and continually shedding tears for the things I saw. (On the plus side, this did make me want to help more, and I did.) If you are a sensy, this will happen to you when disaster strikes, as well. You've been warned.
Non-Sensy Friends Complain about Your “Sad Music”
I have some friends that aren’t the “sensitive” type, and they don’t understand the music I listen to. You know, stuff like Bon Iver, David Bazan, Copeland, Noah Gundersen, and other artists that will make you want to cry yourself to sleep. Friends that don’t get the beauty in this type of music will say things like, “UGH. How do you listen to this stuff???” To which you will have no perfect explanation for them to understand why that music is the greatest of all time. (Note: if you want an idea of the kind of music I'm talking about, here is a Spotify playlist of said music—HERE.)
It is Easier for You to Succumb to Depression
In 2013, I realized that I had struggled with depression since junior high. I don’t take medication (because I run, and would rather not have to take medication) and manage it, but there are days when I feel the pull and am sad for no explainable reason. On these days I tend to force myself to be with people, but normally seem out of it. (Side note: if you struggle with depression, speak to someone about it. You may be surprised at how necessary and freeing this can be. Also, medication may be totally right for you if you have depression.)
Words Mean More
It's like the great saying goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will only psychologically harm me until I inevitably one day die.” As a sensy, things that people say to you stick with you for a very long time, shaping your self-image. You continually have to refocus on the positives of yourself, and let the “hate” roll off your back. Being 23 (at the time I'm writing this), I’d say that I don’t have tough skin, but scar tissue that makes words take longer to break me down to the extent that they used to.
You Wish You Could Say You Never had a “Teen Angst” Phase, but You’d be Lying
I blame early exposure to things like Dashboard Confessional, Snow Patrol, Taking Back Sunday, and The Office—but really I was a super emotional teenager that was a scene kid/skater-poser instead of a goth kid.
PROS:
You Can Relate to JD from “Scrubs” on Nearly a Spiritual Level
One of my favorite fictional TV characters of all time would have to be JD from “Scrubs”. The reason? HE COINED THE TERM, “SENSY”, and was one! So many things in that show will relate to you as a sensy, and you should definitely watch it if you are one.
Music and Movies are Infinitely Better
Because you feel deeply, emotions conveyed through media is better perceived in the eyes of a sensy, being able to better understand what is being shown. Music especially gets me, still. Woof. Especially THIS SONG/MUSIC VIDEO. Other “sensy” recommendations would be: The Office, 500 Days of Summer, You’ve Got Mail (which is a classic, plus Tom Hanks is amazing), Les Misérables (either the Liam Neeson one or the musical. Either are wonderful; although if you're watching the Liam Neeson version and keep expecting explosions to happen, there are none), or Room.
Empathy Becomes a Way of Life
You feel deeply. You see other people feeling things deeply. You want to hug them. They feel better (unless they’re one of those people that hate hugs. Why do you hate hugs??? I will never understand). HOORAY FOR FEELINGS!
Anger Makes You Productive
While in my days of toddler youth, anger would make me scream things like “I HATE YOU” at my mother because she wouldn't buy the cereal I wanted, now anger makes me want to do something about it, and I’m USUALLY able to logically think through how to do something productive about what I’m angry about—giving solutions to problems that I have become frustrated with.
Honesty Becomes a Standard
As a sensy, you HATE how it feels to be lied to. That’s why you generally try to tell the truth, as lies are a heavy burden to bear, and lying sucks your soul worse than a demontor.
You Don’t Take People Being Oppressed Well
When you see injustices, Hulk-like rage begins to overtake your body, and you’re able to nonviolently put an end to it, only using your words. (And it makes me want to punch people, but I don’t [see next point to further see this explanation].)
Violence is the Last Option
While I’m not fully opposed to punching someone in the face, I would rather not end a confrontation in fisticuffs. If I have no other option, I will, but I would rather not hurt someone. You know what they say, “hugs makes the word go ‘round, not punches.” (Do they say that?)
You Choose Your Words Carefully (Usually)
Words hurt. You know this. So you usually don’t tweet-scream whatever is on your mind—especially in all caps. BECAUSE READING TWEETS LIKE THIS IN ALL CAPS LOCK GETS KIND OF ANNOYING AFTER AWHILE TOO. ESPECIALLY WHEN THERES NO CORRECT PUNCTUATION OR ANYTHING TO MAKE IT COMPLETELY COHERENT SENTENCES THAT ARENT RUN ON SENTENCES AND STUFF AND THINGS.
You Make Friends Easily
Because you perceive emotions and feelings better than the average person, you’re able to make friends and deepen friendships! The more you open up to someone, the more they open up to you. (Unfortunately, you do have to be careful about who you open up to, because some people can’t be trusted with the crap you don’t want shared publicly.)
You Can Be a Better Activist
Anything you’re passionate about, you care a HECK of a lot about, so you’re able to utilize that passion and perhaps instill that passion into other people. What I’m saying is, use that sensy-ness to your advantage and spread the word about the things you care about! You might be surprised at what happens because of it.